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Humor in the Home

The  Visitation at the Funeral Home

My 7 yr. old son kept staring at the casket.  Stop staring!  Why?  Well, we just don’t do that, it’s not polite.  Can I touch her?  Well, yes, some people often touch the people they loved, as a way to say good-bye.  Oh, I don’t want to say goodbye, I just want to touch her, are her bones still inside her?  Yes, Yes, her bones are still there.  If the line gets short, and we get a chance to go and pay our respects, then you can pat her hand.  Pay spects?  How much will that cost, I don’t see anyone else paying money, who do they pay it too?  No, honey, pay respects means we take a moment, stand at the coffin, and some people say a short prayer for the person who has died, or you just take a moment to remember them.  Oh, okay, but can I get a piece of her?  ( This question about sent me into a real tizzy.  The other questions had been pretty expected, but now my son was asking for a piece of the body!  Oh my goodness!!!)  No, No, No, you cannot take a piece of her.  Mom, I just want to look at it under my new microscope.  No, the answer is no way!  But mom, they do it on TV all the time!  Honey, you are 7, you are not on CSI, this is real life, and there is no way you are taking a piece of her, period.  Just a little piece?  I’ll do it quick!    NO!   We’ll talk about this later, this just isn’t the time for this.  All I wanted was a small piece for my microscope 😦

Unusual Homework Help

Being a mom with IBS, sometimes I can spend a lot of time in the bathroom.

The other morning we were in a time crunch, as usual. It was science test day.  Both my son and I had gotten up early to do some additional reviewing of the material, Chapter 4, Ecosystems.  All of a sudden the cramping hit.  I rushed to the bathroom.  Oh no, this did not stop the review session.  I cracked the door open and quizzed him from the bathroom.  What is a tundra, I called out?  Now that is what I call real dedication!  Just like the mail.  Not rain, or sleet, or diarrhea can stop the studying!

Homework solutions

Third grade is a difficult transition time for most students.  They are just really starting to understand things, and the teachers are expecting them to be more responsible.  Yep, no more hand holding in third grade.

The other night I was going over my son’s homework.  It was addition.  Several columns and several numbers.  His first row showed the small marks that show he had carried and added.  The rest of his work, while all correct, had none of those tiny tell-tale signs of his work.  The next morning, I asked him, how did you do your math without carrying?  He smiled that big, I got one over on you grin, and answered, I used a calculator.  Are you sure it’s all right to use a calculator?  I’m sure your teacher want you to do it the long way. Mom, he wailed, it takes too long, and besides his teacher had never actually said that he couldn’t use a calculator.  Typical retort from my quick-witted son, always looking for the loopholes. Or a future lawyer in the making?

What do you want to eat?

Daddy is on the phone.  He’s bringing home Taco Bell, want do you want?  I want those chicken diarrheas. You mean chicken quesadillas?  Yes, chicken diarrheas.  I love those.

One Comment leave one →
  1. lighthousegal permalink
    November 1, 2009 10:56 pm

    Oh, your soon sounds like a hoot – not only that, he sounds a lot like my girls! When did they start making children so dog gone smart!

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